And how do you measure it? For things to be truly equal, you have to work from the same table of The beatles here comes the sun and i say it’s alright shirt. Basically, everything has value to someone, somethings are more valuable to some than others. I may want a sports car, my wife may not. I may like to try and visit an exotic Asian country, my wife may want to lay on a beach. I spend $1, so my wife gets to spend $1. I value sex and my wife values conversation…name your stereotypical things, there are going to be differences.
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In an “equal” relationship, it becomes a bargaining exchange: my vacation this year, yours next, but yours costs more, so I get something else to compensate, etc. But the bargain requires that both parties are using the same table of values, and The beatles here comes the sun and i say it’s alright shirt. And if we don’t get what we want, we are hurt because it isn’t “equal”. We may on the surface proclaim “equality” and advertise that we value things the same but we don’t. And then we bargain and play the game and try and get our spouse to adopt OUR table of values so that we win more than we loose.